What does it look like?

The Leveson enquiry juggernaut moves on and on and on, yesterday it left the crumpled injured body of Culture Secretary Jeremy Hunt in its tracks. Thankfully he's being given political first aid, including support from the PM.

I thought that there was another injured party; David Cameron himself. He was, however, only clipped by a wing mirror.

James Murdoch talked briefly about a Christmas party at Rebekah Brooks house. He and the PM were there. At the time Brooks was the chief executive of news international and James Murdoch was Chair of News Group Newspapers. Both of them were hugely important figures in the media industry. The party happened 2 days after the Secretary Of State For Business (and other stuff) had his responsibilities for the News Corp BSkyB takeover stripped... The company that both Brooks and Murdoch worked for.

I honestly don't care what went on at that party.

I really don't.

It was probably just a party.

I am hugely concerned that the PM's team isn't asking a really important PR question.

"WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?"

When working for the BBC I made a number of decisions that had "What does this look like?" at their heart. When invited to events I was the BBC not me; I didn't go to certain events and I didn't get too close to certain issues (usually political) if I thought that there would be questions asked of my journalistic impartiality.

David, seriously, What does this look like?

Don't be SMART

David Cameron was on The Today Programme this morning. His presentation is always confident and slick, to the point where he makes Tony Blair at his Teflon coated best look like Count Arthur Strong.

Well done him.

The thing that really stood out for me was the use of the current 'tag line' of the Conservative Party / Coalition Government. It was mentioned more than once and, sorry Dave, but like all good tag lines it means nothing. It's an emotional signifier that positions the government, but it's devoid of real meaning.

That's what you want from a tag line or corporate slogan, the last thing that you want is addled old hacks picking away at it as if you've lied...

These are some of my favourite meaning free emotion heavy tag-lines.

1) "Hard working families, trying to do the right thing." - David Cameron 2012.
Both 'hard working' and 'right thing' are hugely subjective. They rely on a moral compass judgement. There may be some families who feel that the 'right thing' is to begin a terrorist cell and bring down the government; as for 'Hard working', my idea of hard work is probably different from the PM's.

2) "The better music mix". - GWR Stations from 1997 to 2001 (ish)
GWR Radio stations adopted one of the best lines in radio programming ever. I love the idea that 'better' and 'mix' are quantifiable. It doesn't even say that the music is better than competitors; because they can't say that, chart stations all play the same music. What they do is drop the emotive word 'better' next to the idea that the 'mix' of music played is vastly important. Genius.

3) "Change we can believe in." - Barack Obama campaign slogan 2008
 There's a chain of thought that sites this slogan for reducing the presidents popularity. It goes that change means many things to many people and the change that felt promised (an overhaul of governance and 'the system') never came, instead the change that did come felt too small and too laboured. The change was fought for, batted back, and then compromised. Change happened, but CHANGE! didn't happen. Lovely undefinable 'change' got defined by the people not the president.

4) "The best a man can get". - Gillette 1989 to present.
Here's the full version of the 80's classic

Oh it's just horrible, it really is, but the slogan will remain one of the greats. It has so much weight behind it. It's not just the best razor, oh no, it's the best a man can get... it's the whole package, it's the whole life, and it reached it's height with the 60 second spot and the best power ballad of the age. The slogan itself has been boiled down to have all of the meaning evaporated off and you're just left with a thick sickly emotion filled goo.

So the last thing that you want to be in this slogan / tag line / sound bite world is S.M.A.R.T. so forget your training and come up with something vague...

John Rockley - "Experience the media"

Oooooh, I like that one....

Obviously

Language is defined by its usage; Gay rarely means light hearted and fun, Genius now means everything from second rate rapper to nerd who helps you in the Apple store and Obviously means, well, whatever you want it to mean.

Poor, poor, poor, obviously; what did it do to deserve this?

You only have to look at the abuse this simple and easily definable word* gets in the mouths of politicians to understand the depth of the problem...

Mr Cameron was asked about the period before the general election when he treated Mr Clegg as a joke. The Prime Minister said with a gleam of wicked amusement: "We've obviously had to get used to each other's jokes over the last year."

Andrew Gimson Daily Telegraph 12/05/11

Here i's thrown in for emphasis, without it the almost joke would be even smaller. So in this context it has no meaning.

The PM then threw in a mildly amusing remark about how Mr Miliband, just like Michael Foot, was being 'undermined by someone called Healey'...The House laughed. By the standards of Commons oratory, it was not a bad crack, even though it was obviously pre-fabricated.

Quentin Letts Daily Mail 12/05/11

Err, Ok, same thing here only in this case it adds a splendid frisson of smugness too.

Danny Alexander, the Treasury chief secretary, (commenting on the PM’s 'Calm down dear' gag) "Obviously, if something has caused offence, obviously that was not right. I hope it has not caused offence, because it was a joke".

I honestly didn't do this on purpose these quotes are randomly pulled off Google. The problem is that no one really knows what they're doing when it comes to things being obvious. Poor old Danny Alexander sounds like a petulant child when this quote is written down. Let's take this quote and take the 'O' word out of it.

"If something has caused offence, that was not right. I hope it has not caused offence, because it was a joke".

It's startling just how more sincere and pleasant it reads.

The most common crimes against this otherwise blameless word are emphasis, condescension, and self flagellation. We've covered the emphasis section, how about condescension. Take this completely made up response to an angry journalists question about NHS cuts.

"Obviously we are all having a tough time financially that's why we're closing all our hospitals and putting our patients in the capable hands of Keith the Aroma therapist"

Or in other words "How dare you question your betters, you jumped up little pencil pusher. We will do what we feel is for the best and you can just lump it"

It may be that the fictional government official is worried that he's going to be held accountable for a terrible horlicks but the first word out of his mouth immediately annoys the consumer and the interviewer and removes any sympathy for the messenger. 

Self flagellation is forgivable but again smug. Try it tonight. Stand in your house and start an argument. A good vicious argument, something along the lines of "goodness you're putting on weight dear" have a really good row and go to bed very, very, very angry. In the morning just see if this works, say in a loud firm voice "obviously I'm sorry, and I obviously didn't mean it" you may want to start ducking as you say it head wounds aren't worth proving a semantic point.

If you're being interviewed, if you're being quoted, if you have a point to make in a presentation avoid being obvious. It's obvious that you don't need it, and if you need to say it's obvious then it isn’t and if it isn't then you didn't in the first place... obvious eh?

*Easily perceived or understood; quite apparent. I did tell you.