Sunday, 5 June 2011

Good Morning!

Here is an imagined scene that takes place in a radio studio near you.

Presenter - Good Morning it's 8 o'clock, I'm Smug Pratley, coming up the campaign to stop saying good morning all the time, first the news with Rich Reading-Voice.

News reader - Good Morning, lots of things have happened of great importance... (fade to 'and finally') with the sport here's Nerdy Statlington.

Sports reporter - Good Morning, it's been a great morning of sport... (fade to 'racing tips')

(jingle plays)

Presenter - Good Morning, it's 5 past 8, I'm Smug Pratley and you're with 'Pratley in the Morning' on the way lots of things that have happened in the local area that we've found out about, but first a campaign has been launched to stop wasting time saying good morning to everyone on the radio, the head of the campaign says that we waste a massive 12 hours a week listening to people on the radio saying Good Morning to each other; that statistic incidentally is made up.

So what does our local MP Lord Nicking of Snatch think of this? Good Morning Lord Nicking.

Guest - Good Morning to you Smug and Good Morning to all your listeners.

Presenter - Good Morning, so what do you think you'd do if I just started asking you a question, keeping the flow and rhythm of the programme going, without saying Good Morning?

Guest - Well Smug, I'd automatically say Good Morning to you, then I'd pause for a fraction of a second too long, fooling you into thinking that I'm waiting for a response. When I hear you take a breath to do that, I'd then carry on regardless. This would make you angry and therefore less inclined to be nice to me during the rest of the interview, but I'd feel delighted with my feeling of self satisfaction.

Presenter - well, that's fascinating... (fade to hand over to slightly manic morning presenter)

So what should you take from this?

Firstly, Breakfast presenters say 'Good Morning' far too much.

Secondly, if the person about to interview you doesn't greet you on air just get on with answering the question. They have probably already said Good Morning to you off air and if they haven't don't let it worry you; It's a stylistic thing, it makes the presenter sound more in control and the programme sound slicker, that's all it is. When you start the answer with 'Good Morning' you annoy the presenter (who's trying very hard to be fast paced) and an annoyed presenter has many, many ways to make you look bad... trust me on this.

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